"Is it Marilyn Monroe...?"

Ibland måste man det man måste. Ett av mina måsten var att en dag ringa Marilyn Monroe. Ungefär så här lät samtalet. OBS! Känsliga personer varnas, eftersom det engelska språket kan i somligas öron låta lite knaggligt:

- Is it mrs. Monroe I´am speking with?
- Hello! This is Roger Lindqvist from Övremarken, do you now where Övremarken is?
- Okej, I´ll understand. Do you now where Hortlax is, mrs. Monroe?
- Okej, I´ll understand. But you must now whwre Piteå is? The famous town beetven Luleå and Älvabojn?
- Okej, I´ll understand. But mrs. Monroe you must now where Sweden is?
- You don´t?

Så höll vi på några timmar. Och ni skulle bara veta vilken hög telefonräkning jag fick efteråt. Till slut så enades vi om att hon skulle komma med flyg till Stockholm. Så här fortsatte samtalet:

- Mrs. Monroe. When you are arrived to Kallax, I been waiting in the ankomsthall with a red rose in my hand.
- And then we are going in my blue Volvo to Hortlax. My wife and I are going to have a palt-dinner for you today.
- Tomorrow you and I are going to Piteå Havsbad and swim in the water. Not outside in the Pite älva, but inomhus. Are you interested, mrs Monroe? Yes I think so a heard it in your lovley voice that you are impregnerad, a mean interested.

- Well, I´am now going to put the telephoneluren tillbaka. Mrs. Monroe, we going to see each other next week!
- Say hallo to your friends over there. I´mean John Kennedy, and his brother Bobby also. Thanks for listening.
- Goodbye, and slepp well tonight in your pyjamas. Oh, you dont´t have a pyjamas. What do you say? You only sleep in Chanel no 5? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes... But mrs. Monroe, I cant sleep with you. You must understand that I have a wife, Elisabeth. I don´t think she liked if you and I sleeps together. You must sleep in yout own room, you know. But if you want, I could read some fairtales before you are going to sleep?
- Bye, bye mrs. Monroe. I see you soon!


På en aning knagglig engelska, samtalade jag med Marilyn Monroe.
Jag bjöd henne hit till Piteå för att under en vecka få "rå om" henne.
Man kan väl säga att jag blev en erfarenhet rikare efteråt.

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